


The Story of my Life

by Missa_Sissa



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/F, Family Fluff, Married Life, Romance, Swan-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-01-15 17:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12325917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missa_Sissa/pseuds/Missa_Sissa
Summary: Emma Swan writes a journal based on her life. Bad past experiences, connecting with her son, having her parents, falling in love, happily ever after. Read from Emma's sassy point of view of how the Swan-Mills family came to be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Glad you decided to click on this story to see what it was all about! Get ready to delve into Emma Swan’s personal journal based on her point of view of her life. Prepare yourselves for cute family moments, Swan-Mills lovin’, silly ridiculousness, swearing, and all the Swan Queen fluff. You may find this boring, you may actually like it. So buckle in, and enjoy the ride.

_Hey, it's Emma. So, first off, just so you know, I was forced into this. Never have I ever (nor did I ever planned on) owning or writing in a journal. I am only doing this for my lovely wife, whom has blackmailed me into this. Therapy wasn't_ _working, so she teamed up with the Cricket to have me write in this shiny new journal. Good luck reading my chicken scratch, by the way, Regina. I only slept through ONE session! Okay, 5 sessions. But hey, the best way to work through your issues is through your dreams, right? Subconscious magic!_

 _Not that I'm expecting anyone to read this (besides a sneaky Regina or maybe my mother), but it was "recommended" that I write as though I'm writing for multiple readers. Whatever that means. I should throw away this stupid journal but I made a promise, so here goes. *sigh* Love you, Regina_.

_ Make a basic timeline of your life. List the years of your life in increments of five. _

_Ugh, I hate this already. But I better get writing because I'm fairly certain Regina is looking over my shoulder right now, and I love you sweetie you're the best wife ever... Could you please make me some hot chocolate?_

**1-5 years old:**

Alright, I started out life in a tree, but I can't count that cause I was younger than 1. So... one year old me. I was adorable (obviously) and helpless, and all by my lonesome in the big, scary world until a rich couple came to scoop me up like Daddy Warbucks did with Annie. 2-year-old me was just as--if not more--adorable than before. With blonde ringlets and bright, forest green eyes, I was fawned over and spoiled. Regina says I looked like a Cabbage Patch Kid--she just learned what they are, by the way. Thanks for telling me I had chubby cheeks and a big head, Love.

There's not much to say about 3-year-old Emma Swan, except that when her loving Mommy & Daddy threw her back into the system like an outgrown puppy, she quickly learned not to trust anyone, and the sparkle in her eyes faded just the slightest.

**6-10 years old:**

I was bullied a lot. Mostly for being poor and having ratty clothes and no parents, but I was also very small for my age. I quickly learned to toughen up the first time I got beat up by a group of kids who were older than me. I taught them a lesson thanks to a hard, right hook and _The Karate Kid_ , and after that, I was basically invisible. I skipped school a lot to lose myself in books at the library and pretend I had the fairytale life. Ironic, huh? Eventually, I got sent to a new, crappy group home so I ran away.

_Can I just add a side note in here... Regina makes the best hot cocoa. She keeps it PG for the kiddos, but she adds a little rum in mine and it really puts me in a great mood. Despite not "doing rum" I've managed to convince her to try it and lo and behold, guess who's a rum fan now? Fun times for Emma and the wifey, eh? ;)_

_Now where was I? Oh right, finishing this prompt._

**11-15 years old:**

Stuck in that awkward phase of toys or boys, I was really alone in the world. I lived on the streets a lot while hiding from the system and all the abusive foster families that came with it. Probably not the best idea for a young girl to do on the streets of Boston, but I did what I had to. I survived and came out stronger. Luckily, my invisibility cloak seemed to still be intact, so people left me alone. Also, some mysterious kid (whom I now know as August) would show up right when I was feeling really down to offer me words of advice and supplies. He was my only ally at the time.

**16-20 years old:**

These years were equally crazy, heartbreaking, and exciting. I had to grow up fast and learned the hard way that the world does not bend to your will. My short bridge of trust was broken not once, but twice, and it took me a long time after to ever let anyone get close to me again. But let's talk about the highlights of these years, shall we?

I met my first friend, Lily. She was my very best friend, and I learned the art of "borrowing" thanks to her. She manipulated me in a lot of ways and wished for things she didn't understand, despite having a loving family who took care of her, but she helped me through some tough times.

After things with her fell through, I met my first love, Neal. Now, he is a touchy subject. I fell head over heels in love with him, carried his baby, only to have him spit back in my face. I found myself arrested for doing his dirty work, and was promptly sent to prison where I luckily was not gang-raped or beat up because of the little bean inside of me. Neal hurt me in ways I can never forgive, but I also can't hate him completely because he is Henry's father and he gave me my little miracle.

When I was 18, I couldn't even celebrate getting out of the foster system for good because I had to give away the one thing, the one thing that I loved most. My baby boy. 18 hours of labor were not kind, especially not to a small, malnourished teen like me. But once I heard his little cry, my heart broke. I wanted nothing more than to hold him and call him mine, look upon his perfect face and tell him how much I loved him. But I had to give him my best chance. And he did get it... I know that now. Regina is the best mother I could have ever asked for him. And together, we make the perfect team.

_Excuse me for a moment while I comfort my crying wife. It's only gonna get worse from here, Regina. I keep telling you not to look over my shoulder. Apparently, I have a knack for this writing thing, because Regina never cries unless it's over our children or me. Pat on the back, Swan. You asshole. You made your wife cry!_

2 **1-25 years old:**

These years were my prime before Storybrooke. I ended up scoring a job as a bounty hunter, something I turned out to be good at, which kept me off the streets. I had finally made something of myself--and looked good doing it. ;)

**26-30 years old:**

I'm still living the life as a badass bounty hunter, taking names and earning dough, when my long lost 10-year-old kid shows up on my doorstep. I don't have two words in before the kid is begging me to come home with him, and I am in full panic mode. It's not like I never thought about him or missed him, it's that I had no idea how to be a mother and take care of a half-grown kid. And since it was a closed adoption I sure as hell didn't expect this. But I don't regret going back to Storybrooke with him for one instant.

I ended up staying and reuniting with my actual family. I got to connect with this awesome kid and be a part of his life that I missed out on. Although things were a bit prickly with Regina--partially because I was stepping on her turf and partially because she liked me--I eventually became Sheriff, which was like my dream job since I was like, 7. Anyway, we came to a truce, then ended up becoming friends, and then we fell madly in love.

**31-35 years old:**

I'm currently 32 years old (not old yet, Regina) and I gotta say, life is pretty good. Work is slow, but when you're trying to rein in a 14-year-old and a 1-year-old, things get pretty crazy. Regina and I got married on my 31st birthday which is pretty freaking amazing if you think about it (2 celebrations in one)! and we adopted our little Makayla Belle soon after. Henry is going on dates and enjoying playing sports, and Makayla is wearing us out with all the running around she's doing. Yeah, life is never boring, that's for sure.

_ What happened in the year you were born? Research the details, and write them down. _

Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn or nothing, but my mere presence broke the Enchanted Forest. My adorableness effectively wiped away all of the inhabitants and sent them away to a Land without Magic (myself included). Regina says technically _she_ was the reason for it with the curse and what not, but toot toot motherfucker, your royal princess has just arrived to screw your lives over.

Also, in 1983 (the year I Back to the Futured into), a musician calling himself _Hot Chocolate_ came to be, which I think is super ironic. Admit it, you think so too. Don't believe me? Google it. Wikipedia is the source of all knowledge and thus, bestowed its power onto me.

 _Okay... Regina read this passage over like some sort of English grammar Nazi and is forcing me to do actual in-depth research for the year 1983. Guess she didn't find_ Hot Chocolate _to be as funny as I thought._

_XXXX_

_So, it's 1:30 in the morning and I work at 7 a.m., but I am forcing myself to stay up to finish this second prompt though our goose mattress bed is calling my name. I bet Regina is cozied up under the covers sleeping and dreaming of the torture I'm being forced into right now. Lucky duck. I'll be the one having to talk to Henry when he sneaks in, too. More mom points for me. Yay._

I actually did find something interesting that I'm sure you nerds will appreciate. Apparently, _Nintendo_ released a video game console in the year 1983 called the _Atari._ It's basically the failed cousin of the game us 90 babies grew up with. But I guess the kiddos of that generation didn't appreciate the wonders of technology, because the console died the same year--and was respectfully buried in New Mexico.

I feel guilty playing my _Nintendo_ now... but on the bright side, I am so kickass at _Paperboy_ that Henry has yet to beat my high score. Regina refuses to play it no matter how much we beg her because she claims it isn't "intellectual"� or "stimulating"�. I beg to differ. But I did catch her playing it one night when she thought we were all asleep--her lip tucked under her front teeth for concentration and her fingers furiously tapping the buttons. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I ever saw her do (though I do say that a lot). She has no idea that I caught her and I've decided I'll let her keep her little secret. I'm still tacking that onto my list of reasons why I love her. I've already filled 2 notebooks with reasons.

_Anywho, I'm headed to bed now. Gotta get some Zzz's in before work. If I'm cranky in the morning, you'll know why. Yes, I'm metaphorically staring at you, Regina. Brat._


	2. Chapter 2

 

_Hey, it’s Emma again. Apparently, I’m supposed to write in this at least once a week so here I am. Just a warning, the rating of my journal has been changed because there’s some references and hotness that shouldn’t be read by children’s eyes. Henry, if you’ve been reading this, I warn you—stop, if you don’t want to be scarred for life. Alright, first prompt._

  
XXXX

  
_ How and where did your grandparents meet? _

  
Snow says they were betrothed when they were young at her mother’s coming of age ceremony, but that’s boring to talk about. What’s _really_ fascinating is how Regina and I met. You may think it was when I brought Henry home to Storybrooke, but that’s actually the _second_ time. The first meeting was so much more entertaining.

  
So, here I am, 21 years old in my prime, on my very first assignment. Some crummy guy was skipping out on his court date for overdue parking tickets (a stupid reason to risk going to jail for) but he couldn’t resist trying to get some with an attractive blonde girl. I offered to buy him a drink after booting his car, and he accepted. I took a drink as well, not wanting to look suspicious. Little did I know; the bartender was his buddy and had slipped a little something extra into my drink.

  
Before he had a chance to take advantage of me in my drugged state, I revealed the real reason I had invited him out. The guy took off, but not before knocking his chair over in front of me which I then tripped over and twisted my ankle. I shook off the pain and chased after him, disoriented yet determined. I couldn’t fail my first day on the job!

  
I watched in confusion as the guy got into his car and sped off into the night. I had booted his car—how could he have done that?!

  
“God damn it!” A woman cursed as she approached the car that I had mistakenly booted.

  
Knowing I fucked up big time and my guy already long gone, I limped over to her to explain myself. “Uh, hi,” I stammered, not sure where to start. This woman was beautiful and older than me with a black spaghetti strap dress and matching 5-inch heels. Her dark, brunette locks were cut into the style of a bob, and her makeup was smoky, finished with a plum-colored lipstick that accented a little scar above her lip.

  
The woman glared at me, her chocolate brown eyes flashing and her teeth clenched in annoyance. “Are you the reason for this?” She demanded, motioning to the yellow boot on the front tire.

  
“Yeah, my name is Emma Swan. I’m a bounty hunter and I accidentally booted your car instead of my guy’s. First night on the job.” I began to sway on my feet as the world around me began to spin.

  
“Maybe this isn’t the job for you,” the woman coolly clipped. Concern quickly overtook her features as she studied me. “Are you alright?”

  
I shook my head, trying to fend off the dizziness. “I’ll be fine. The guy had the bartender spike my drink is all. Twisted my ankle on the way out here.” I laughed humorlessly, knowing I most likely won’t have a job in the morning.

  
Apparently, this woman didn’t think it was very funny. “You most certainly aren’t fine. Who knows what was in that. Are you even old enough to drink?”

  
“Just turned 21,” I answered, pulling my keys from my clutch. “My apartment is just around the corner. I can make it.”

  
Before I could move, my keys were ripped out of my hand. “Absolutely not.”

  
Anger sparked within me, and I glared at the woman. “I’ll remove your boot and let you on your way. Just leave me alone.”

  
The woman gave me a glare of her own. “So another man can take advantage of you? I don’t think so. Where’s your car? I’ll take you to your apartment.”

  
“How do I know _you_ aren’t looking to take advantage of me? I don’t even know your name!” I snapped.

  
The woman sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “My name is Regina Mills. I have a 3-year-old son and I’m not from here. Unfortunately, I’m mayor of my town so my work brings me here for board meetings every 3 months.”

  
I mulled it over in my foggy mind. My intuition tells me when someone is lying, and from what I could tell, this woman checked out. She was obviously responsible if she had a young son and held a position of power. My apartment is only a block away; better to have someone like Regina take me home than running into a gang or sex-obsessed creep.

  
Regina gently laid her hand on my arm and gave me a soft smile. “We better get you there before you pass out. What do you say, Miss Swan?”

  
I nodded and led her to my yellow Bug. With some difficulty, Regina got it started and followed my instructions to my apartment. I got out and limped over to the sidewalk, surprised when Regina grabbed the front door and held it open.

  
“What are you doing?” I asked as she followed me in. “Aren’t you gonna call a cab?”

  
“I’m not leaving you to pass out in the hallway, Dear.” Regina grabbed my arm and steadied me as I led the way to my apartment.

  
“Nice place,” Regina commented as we got inside.

  
I threw my clutch down on the counter and stepped out of my foot-killing heels. “Thanks for bringing me home. Sorry again about booting your car.”

  
Regina hardly heard me as she made herself at home, filling a glass of water as I made my way into the bedroom. She came in just as I was struggling with the zipper on my dress, lying face down on the bed and ready to pass out. My learned instincts told me to scream at her to get out of my apartment, but she was just so nice and no one had ever treated me like this before. Especially not someone this attractive.

  
“Will you allow me to help you with your zipper? They can be a bitch sometimes, I know,” Regina offered.

  
I sighed and gave up the fight. If this woman was going to take advantage of me, so be it. My body was too exhausted to keep up. The zipper was slowly pulled down and my dress taken off. A dresser drawer was pulled open and soon a hand was helping me sit up. I aided in pulling a tank top over my head, settling for just my boy shorts as bottoms.

  
“There. Now you can sleep comfortably. Drink this before you go to sleep.” Regina handed me the glass of water.

  
I stared at it suspiciously for a moment but figured there wasn’t anything worse that can happen to me that hasn’t already. I found I was very thirsty as I gulped it down in less than a minute. Regina helped me lay back against the pillows and began massaging my throbbing ankle. I relaxed into her touch and passed out with those gentle hands soothing me, wondering why the hell she was bothering to help me.

  
_Side note here: Regina gives the best massages. I’m not even kidding—I threw out my back chasing after Pongo and she gave me a massage the night I came home. It was literally better the next day. That woman has the magic touch. Haha—see what I did there? ;)_

  
I woke up the next morning still a bit groggy as the events of last night slowly pieced together in my mind. I went to get out of bed when I heard a loud clatter outside of my bedroom. I froze, trying to think of who could be in my apartment. Was it some random junkie? A burglar intent on stealing what little things I had? I decided that didn’t matter. I was going to protect myself.

  
I limped out of the bedroom, pistol in hand and ready to shoot. A woman stood at the stove and she turned around to face me as I entered the room. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened in shock at the sight of the gun. She held out her arms in front of her protectively.

  
“Emma, you may not remember me, but I’m Regina Mills. I brought you here last night after you booted my car. You were heavily drugged by the man you were with—I was only trying to help you.”

  
I slowly lowered the gun as the memory of her came to my mind. I looked over toward the couch to see a pillow and throw blanket. Behind Regina, what looked like an omelet sizzled in a pan. She stayed the night? I figured she left after I passed out.

  
“Sorry,” I apologized, setting the gun down on the counter and sitting at the counter island. “I’m not used to being around people.”

  
Regina set down two cups of tea and two omelets and sat across from me. “I know how you feel. Other than having to deal with people for work, I keep mostly to myself. My son keeps me busy.”

  
I forced a smile on my face, ignoring the pang of sadness in my heart at giving up my chance at motherhood. “Well thanks again.”

  
I followed Regina to the door, feeling weirdly sorrowful to see her go. Usually I can’t get away from people fast enough. “Good luck with being mayor and all.”

  
Regina gave me a smile that made my heart skip a beat. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”

  
_Boy was I surprised when I took my son home to find out Regina was his mother. Unfortunately, she didn’t remember the first time we met because of the consequences that came from crossing the town line, but it’s one of my favorite memories. It just goes to show that I was right—Regina wasn’t fully evil deep down._

  
_Regina just read the story of our first meeting and burst into tears again. I made her some tea with peppermint schnapps and now she’s happy again. Yet another reason why I love my wife—my stories make her emotional and she agrees that alcohol goes good with everything._

  
XXXX

  
_It’s 3 in the morning, I can’t sleep, and I don’t work in the morning, so I might as well fill another prompt in this journal. Makayla’s been colicky and Henry is up on the roof with his girlfriend, so it’ll do me some good to stay awake. Regina looks so cute right now—her hair is tangled around her face and she’s curled up in a little ball with the blankets tucked up to her chin. It’s funny how self-conscious she gets in the morning. I can walk downstairs with a zombie face and polka dot underwear with a Rugrats sweatshirt on and not have a care in the world, but Regina never leaves our bedroom without looking like a model. Alright, let’s get to the prompt. This one should be fun._

  
_Top 10 time! Imagine your bedroom. List 10 objects that you remember from the room, and describe what they mean to you._

  
1\. The photographs on our night stand. One of Regina and 10-year-old Henry with Regina wrapping him in an embrace and giving a warm smile to the camera while Henry’s smile lights up the whole picture.

  
There’s also one of Makayla Belle feeding big brother Henry a piece of cake from the adoption party we threw the week we brought her home. Pink frosting covers her hands and face as well as Henry’s, and both of them are laughing mid-picture. It looks like it belongs in a family magazine.

  
2\. Our bed—a cherry four-poster with a red silk comforter and black satin sheets. It’s amazingly comfortable, and it’s where most of the fun happens. ;) Also, it fits all 4 of us perfectly. In the morning, Henry and Makayla sometimes crawl into bed with us and we all fall asleep for another couple hours. The little kicks in the shin and elbows in the ribs are totally worth it.

  
3\. My beautiful assortment of leather jackets in the closet that enhance my hotness and keep me warm on windy days. Regina may complain about how “atrocious” they are, but I see how she stares at me when I walk past her with one on. She loves ‘em.

  
4\. The TV which I begged Regina for months to let me have in here. On cold, rainy days or when one of us is sick or lazy, we curl up and watch Friends for hours. Or _Spongebob Squarepants_ if the kids are joining us.

  
5\. Our dresser which I find very sentimental cause I get to raid my wife’s panty drawer. And there may be a couple of other fun things in there as well. Have fun imagining that. ;)

  
6\. Regina’s perfume. It smells like sandalwood and apples, and she puts it on every single day for me even though it makes her sneeze. Sometimes when we’re cuddled up in bed I can smell it on my pillow and I swear it gives me sweet dreams.

  
7\. I know this isn’t an object, but it’s still in our room. The coffee stain that has been there for the past year. I spent 3 hours on my hands and knees scrubbing at it to no avail, all while Regina stood teasing me with a ridiculously sexy black leather outfit and whipping me (in a good way). That night was one of the best, and every time I look at that stain it reminds me of how fun and sexy my wife is.

  
8\. My reading nook by the window. It was a 30th Christmas gift from Regina and the kids. A little bookshelf is set up by the window wrapped in red Christmas lights with a portable hot chocolate maker on an end table next to it. Soft pillows and a cashmere blanket are splayed on the window seat, giving me a beautiful view of Storybrooke. I have a problem with insomnia and used to go take a walk around outside at night, but that always made Regina nervous, so she gave me something personal mixed with something I love that reassures her that I’ll stay safe. So it’s times like tonight I often curl up with a fairytale book and a cup of hot chocolate until the sun begins to rise.

  
9\. Regina’s glasses. She’s going to hate me saying so, but this is a legitimate favorite thing in our room. She hides them in her nightstand and absolutely detests them, though she knows she has to have them for reading. They’re thick and black and too big for her face, which makes her look absolutely adorable. When I see her wearing them I usually tease her about being old which earns me a hard smack in the arm, but then I put on my matching pair so she doesn’t feel bad.

  
10\. My record player. It’s one of the first things I bought for my apartment in Boston (even before I bought a couch) and it was a steal. I found it at a thrift shop and got it super cheap along with a bunch of records. When Regina and I drink a little too much, we blast Bon Jovi or Lady Gaga and have dance parties late into the night.

  
XXXX

  
_Well, this won’t be the last entry of mine but I have to take a little break because my hand is cramping up. Talk to you later, nerds. Love, Emma (I still hate writing in this.)_

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

_Guess who’s back, bitches?! Sorry, got a little overexcited there. After about a week of fighting with Regina and Archie about this journal, I am back to the grind. Story is, Regina dry-cleaned my favorite leather jacket (the red one) and it shrunk horribly beyond wearable status. So, I refused to write in this until she got me a new one. Regina ordered a new one online, but as you can imagine, Storybrooke doesn’t have the best shipping time. But here I am, admiring the shiny leather and red glossiness, pen in hand and ready to go. Enjoy, nerds._

  
_Write about your earliest childhood memory of your mother._

  
Instead of childhood memory, how about an almost-turning=30 memory? I would mention the first time we met, but you already know about that. I would rather talk about my fondest memory. It was the first time I ever told her about my feelings for Regina. Grab the box of Kleenex, babe. It’s gonna get feely up in here.

  
I burst into the loft, high on adrenaline and buzzed from the shots of alcohol I had consumed. Tonight marked the first official night that Regina and I had acted civil toward each other and actually enjoyed ourselves since we agreed to share Henry. Our son was out with his baseball team tonight celebrating their victory, so Regina and I decided to meet up to celebrate Henry finally making some friends. A parenting win for us!

  
Mary Margaret gave me a knowing grin as I threw my purse down and kicked off my heels before flopping over on my back onto the couch. “You look like you’ve been having fun.”

  
I stared at the ceiling, unable to hide the silly smile on my face. “I finally feel like I’m doing something right. Henry is happy, Regina is warming up to me…”

  
“As is the alcohol in your stomach,” Mary Margaret commented with a chuckle. “I’m happy for you, Em. You gonna tell me how this night out with the mayor went?”  
I sighed and sat up, blinking as the room spun twice before settling. “Pour us a glass of wine and I’ll tell you all about it.”

  
I waved goodbye to everyone at the edge of the baseball field, watching Henry meet up with his teammates and pile into the large van for a night of fun before hopping into my Bug and pulling out of the parking lot. My plan was to go home and watch Friends with a tub of rocky road ice cream and some cabernet, but as I passed main street my mind decided to flip a complete U-turn and head for Granny’s.

  
I parked the car, feeling a strange sense of loneliness come over me. I fit in well with this town, I had a kid who loved me, I had friends for once in my life. But I couldn’t help the overwhelming _aloneness_ that I just couldn’t shake. It was a familiar feeling growing up alone, so I decided to head inside for a good old draft beer to forget my sorrows for a little while.

  
I settled myself on a stool, sipping on my slightly too strong beer and ignoring the world around me. A frown came upon my face as I heard Leroy laughing and being rowdy with the rest of the dwarves. I would have asked Mary Margaret to join me, but she had been so infatuated with David recently that she hardly gave me the time of day. And Ruby… who knows who she’s shacking up with.

  
“Fancy seeing you here, Sheriff.” I looked up to see Regina seated a few seats down, an empty glass in front of her, indicating she had been here a while.  
“Hi,” I answered, taking another drink of my beer and grimacing at the flavor. Why did I choose _Budlight_? _BV_ was the way to go.  
“You here by yourself?” Regina asked, glancing around the mostly empty bar.

  
I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment, though I wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, this uh—is usually how things go for me. I’m used to it.”

  
Regina simply smiled as if she knew the feeling all too well. “It has been kind of quiet now that Henry is branching out and making friends.”  
I nodded in agreement, the hollow feeling still settled in the pit of my stomach.

  
“I wanted to thank you for signing Henry up for baseball. He really seems to enjoy it and he’s even gotten invited to a few sleepovers,” Regina said, surprising me.

  
The bartender pushed two golden-colored shots toward Regina, who then offered one to me. “Would you like to celebrate our parenting victory?”

  
I raised an eyebrow at her, slightly skeptical. “Isn’t that what Kathryn is for?”

  
Regina’s smile never wavered. “Kathryn isn’t much of a drinker. She’s rather dull at times. Besides, I thought I would repay you for what you did for me.”

  
Slowly, the hollow feeling began to recede. I forced a smile on my face and grabbed the shot, clinking it against hers before downing it all at once. Immediately my chest burned and my eyes watered, my lungs forcing me to cough to breathe in fresh air. I grabbed the nearest thing to me and downed it only to discover it was the same vile drink.

  
A glass of water was set in front of me and I gulped it gratefully until the burning sensation stopped. I glanced over at Regina to see her sipping on the shot like it was a rare wine. She was looking at me in amusement. The man beside me (with a now empty shot glass) glared at me and moved away.

  
“What the hell—was that?” I gasped.

  
Regina shifted in her chair, her lips pulled up into a playful smirk. “I thought you knew what you were drinking, Miss Swan. Tequila is rather distinguishable.”

  
I could already feel the buzz humming through my brain and causing my body to tingle. “Shit! I drove here! How the hell am I supposed to get home?” I groaned.

  
“No worries, Emma. I’ll take you. Now just relax and have some fun. How about a margarita on the rocks?” Regina motioned to the bartender who nodded as he noticed her signal for another drink.

  
Not even 10 minutes later I’m busting out laughing at a Baby Henry story Regina is telling, feeling light-headed and free all at once, my loneliness long forgotten. “What I would have paid to watch that happen!” I giggle, putting my hand on Regina’s thigh.

  
I quickly realized what I was doing and moved my hand. “Um—sorry. Sorry I’m usually not like this…” I mumbled.

  
Regina grabbed my hand and held it in hers. “You’re having fun, Emma. It’s really alright.”

  
I glanced into her eyes to see they had become soft, liquid pools of chocolate. How I wanted to melt within them just then. I leaned in to kiss her, but somewhere in my foggy brain rational thought reared its level head and stopped me in my tracks. I reached for my drink and sipped on that instead.

  
I could have sworn I saw disappointment flicker across Regina’s face. The whole situation was striking me as odd. Regina was my acquaintance; she created the schedule for Henry every week, she bitched at me about late paperwork (she bitched at me about basically _everything_ ) she would nod but wouldn’t say anything if she saw me around town. Now here she was, practically begging me to bed her with the shots of alcohol and offering to drive me home. And God how I wanted to. But I forced myself to hold back. I ruined everything I touched—even my relationship with Henry was difficult to navigate.

  
“So, got any more stories about that crazy son of ours?” I asked, trying to erase the look on her face.

  
The night was over all too soon, and Regina practically dragged me out with her arm around my waist. She carefully maneuvered me into her car and buckled me in before taking me to the loft and helping me up the stairs.

  
“Here you are.” Regina released me and motioned to the door. “Think you can find your way to your bed?”

  
“I dunno I might need your help,” I said, trying and failing to wink at her. Before she could say or do anything, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Thank you, ‘Gina. I had a lot of fun.”

  
Regina smiled and stepped back, steadying me on my feet. “So did I. Perhaps we can do this again sometime.”

  
I heard her descending the stairs only when the door shut behind me. And that was when I recounted the whole story to Mary Margaret.

  
“Do you think Regina likes you too?” Mary Margaret asked as she handed me what was obviously a glass of water. So much for the wine.

  
“I know she does. And next time, I’m gonna kiss her.” I smiled happily as Mary Margaret helped me up and to my room.

  
Mary Margaret helped me change into my pajamas and tucked me under the covers. “I wish you all the happiness, Emma.” The woman chuckled lightly. “My head already hurts thinking how bad yours is going to feel in the morning.” She leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. “Maybe that will keep the pain away. Sweet dreams, Emma.”

  
My eyes were almost closed when a sudden feeling had me up out of bed and looking out the window. I was surprised to see Regina’s car still parked down there, the street light illuminating the mayor inside of it. I hit the window with the palm of my hands, trying to catch her attention, finally managing to pull it open. By that time, Regina was looking up at my window.

  
“I made it to my bedroom, ‘Gina!” I yelled down, most likely waking up the neighbors.

  
“Go to bed, Emma!” Regina yelled up from her open car window.

  
I laughed loudly as she revved the engine on her car, indicating she was going to leave. “I need a goodnight kiss to help me sleep!”

  
Regina blew me a kiss through her window. “Now go to sleep!”

  
“I’m gonna kiss you for real next time! I promise!” I yelled back. I swear Regina smiled as she pulled away from the curb, her tail lights illuminated in the dark.

  
_Speaking of kissing, Regina is peppering my whole body with kisses as I write. This story was kind of requested by her and I was all too happy to oblige, as it is a great memory of Mary Margaret and Regina all mixed into one. Now I’m going to take a break from this to carry me wife to our bed and show her all of the creative ways I can kiss her. ;)_

  
XXXX

  
_Alright, the little squirt is asleep again (she’s a Mama’s Girl and super colicky) and Regina is enjoying her post-sex bubble bath complete with vanilla-scented candles and a detachable shower head (an early birthday gift from me—I know, I know, I’m a genius) so I’m gonna add another entry here. Actually, this whole journal thing is kinda growing on me. It’s nice to vent to someone who won’t talk back._

  
_Write about your earliest memory of your father._

  
_Well, when I got my true memories back after Henry’s near-death experience, I do clearly remember being cradled in my father’s arms while he protected his little girl from harm and sent her on her way to a new land with a goodbye kiss. But since my fondest memory of Mary Margaret was linked to a Swan Queen tale (see what I did with the names there? Regina thinks it’s absolutely ridiculous) I may as well do the same with David._

  
This takes place after the curse had broken. After I had saved Henry and restored everyone’s memories and learned that everything I had been denying was true. I knew that I was falling for Regina, even after everything she had done. Because I had gotten to know another side of her that perhaps only Henry ever got to see. But for some reason, she had been very short with me, only interacting with me when it was necessary. So Henry and I had come up with a plan to put her in good spirits.

  
So, I had just dropped Henry off at home and I waved him off, sitting inside my Bug and fidgeting with the chain around my neck (a nervous habit) as I waited to see if Regina got my gift I had sent in with Henry (a bottle of Chardonnay and movie tickets to _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_ (an all-time favorite of mine that just happened to be showing at the theatre. My hopes lifted when the door opened and Regina began walking toward my car, her chin held high, a neutral expression on her face, the gray dress she was rocking flowed with the wind and her black heels click-clacked against the sidewalk like a runway model. She didn’t look happy, but she didn’t look pissed off, either, which was a point in my favor.

  
I rolled down the window and gave her the brightest smile I could—I called it “The Smolder”. “So, are we on for Friday?” I asked.

  
Without speaking a single word, Regina proceeded to rip up the tickets and then handed me the unopened bottle of wine. I stared in confusion before numbly reaching for the bottle. My hand shook under its weight, as if it were a bowling ball rather than mere ounces of liquid.

  
“I don’t have time for your childishness,” Regina finally spoke before heading back up the sidewalk.

  
I watched her go, feeling numb and utterly stupid. I was used to rejection (growing up in the foster system introduced me to the familiarity) but this was different. It almost physically hurt, like She had just plunged a knife into my chest and twisted it sharply. It took a lot for me to show my caring side to people, and now that was shattered into a million pieces.

  
I started my Bug and was ready to drive away when the door opened, and Henry ran out, yelling at me to wait. I put the car back into park and tried to will away the pain undoubtedly showing on my face. I quickly hid the shredded tickets from view. The boy stopped next to the passenger side window, grabbing onto the side of the car and leaning in with a concerned look on his face. He had helped me plan this date for Regina as he knew her better than me.

  
“What happened?” He asked, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. “Mom came in really upset and locked herself in her study. Didn’t she like the gift?”

  
I looked down at my lap, willing myself to keep my emotions in check. _You can cry when you get home, Swan. Don’t let the kid know what happened._

  
“She’s just not feeling well is all. I’ll have to reschedule our date.” I felt bad lying to him, but he had been so eager, so sure that his mom would love the gift as she had a prestigious collection of wine and owned almost every movie made before 1990. I had hurt him already with not believing his fairytales were real (only to find out that they were). I couldn’t bear to hurt him again.

  
“Oh.” Henry bit his lip, looking as though he knew there was more to the story. He took after me in carrying the ability to tell when the truth wasn’t exactly truthful. It was both a blessing and a curse.

  
I forced a smile on his face. “Hey, you were supposed to be with me this Friday anyway, so what do you say you and I go to the movie? We’ll pass on the wine, but I’ll get you all the soda and candy you want.”

  
Henry offered me a toothy grin, all traces of skepticism gone from his face. “That sounds fun! Unlimited soda and candy and one of my favorite movies?!” He pumped his fist in the air like Judd Nelson in the ending of The Breakfast Club. Well, at least I can rest assured knowing he was raised with good taste in movies.

  
Once I said goodbye to him again, I drove to the only place I could think of—the harbor. Looking at the water helped me think and focus, as if the rippling of the waves were my own emotions; hard at first like a tidal wave, then gradually growing softer as time went by. I sat on a bench and looked out at the sea, thinking the gray sky and approaching storm clouds were appropriate for how this day has gone thus far.

  
I just didn’t understand; why was Regina pushing me away now? Sure, the curse had broken. Sure, I was the daughter of her enemies. Sure, I was the one destined to bring back the happy endings and see her downfall. But what about before? When I had been getting to know the woman beneath the Evil Queen? The nights we shared getting schnockered at Granny’s, the cheesy movie sessions, the arcade games we spent plenty of money on to see our son smile. Did that not matter anymore? Did I not matter?

  
“Emma?” I looked up to see David next to his truck beginning to approach me.

  
“Hey,” I said quietly, not having the strength to say anything else without crying.

  
“It’s---uh, kinda cold outside today.” David sat down beside me, being careful not to sit too close as I was still getting used to the fact that I had parents and they were the same age as me.

  
We silently watched the water for a while, both glancing at each other out of the corner of our eyes. I could tell David wanted to say something from the way he was biting his lip, but I knew he didn't want to push it. I released a shaky breath and decided to confide in him. This is a fresh start for me and I better make the most of it.

  
“Before the curse broke, I had been getting to know Regina. We would hang out and talk and we seemed to really understand each other. I thought I—” I bit my lip and blinked back the tears causing my eyes to water.

  
“You feel something for her,” David finished for me with a smile.

  
A tight smile appeared on my face. “If only it was that easy.”

  
“If it’s because she’s the Evil Queen; if you think we won’t accept you because you have a connection with her, that will never happen.”

  
I blinked in shock at David’s statement, momentarily forgetting what I was about to say. “But she cursed you both. She almost killed Mary Margaret. And Henry. It’s messed up!”

  
David shrugged nonchalantly, a casual smirk settled on his face. “Not everyone is perfect. Snow hit my head with a rock and I strung her up in a tree.”  
David moved closer, putting his arm around my shoulders. I found myself leaning into him, the touch sparking a feeling of familiarity into me. He smelled like leather and something uniquely him, and I felt my emotions come to the surface once more.

  
“Oh, Emma.” David pressed a kiss to my temple. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  
“I asked her on a date. Henry helped me with it; I bought movie tickets and a bottle of wine, something I thought she would like. And she ripped the tickets up in front of me like it didn’t even matter.”

  
David was quiet for several minutes. I felt him inhale deeply before speaking. “You can’t give up. Regina has always been a tough nut to crack; if you believe she has feelings for you the way you do her, then go for it. Your mother and I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for that belief.” David gently touched my nose. “And neither would you.”

  
I rested my head on his chest, a new feeling warming my heart. Why had I expected this to be so easy? The chase was only part of the fun!  
“Thanks, Dad,” I said, relaxing further into his embrace.

  
XXXX

  
_Things between Regina and I definitely weren’t easy, but I wouldn’t change a thing. It gives us something memorable to look back on. I have to thank my parents for supporting me as well—being rejected time after time until finally finding people who love and accept you is the greatest gift you can ever receive._

 


	4. Chapter 4

_Well, I’m surprised to say that I’m glad to be writing in this again. It’s been a long week, so I’m de-stressing in a bubble bath with cinnamon candles and Chinese takeout floating in front of me. (Who knew Styrofoam containers floated?)_

_XXXX_

_ What noises do you hear in the morning? _

A noise I can tell you that I hear from the minute Regina falls asleep to the moment she wakes is snoring. She’s gonna hate me for saying so and will forever deny it, but it’s true. I’m used to it though, and it actually comforts me because it’s so familiar. And it’s not too noisy—sometimes you get people (like Leroy) who sleep with their mouths wide open, sucking in all the air they can get and releasing it just as loudly making them sound like a freight train—but Regina’s snoring is nice. It’s quiet, like a cat’s purr, providing just enough white noise to allow me to drift off to sleep.

So, I wake to Regina’s snoring, if it’s a weekend, that is. During the week day, I usually hear “If you don’t get out of this bed this minute we are never having sex again!” Can you imagine the horror if Regina actually followed through with that threat?!

I also hear the little pitter-pattering of feet running down the hallway. Makayla has been able to sneak out of her crib as soon as she began walking, so it’s common for her to run to our room and wake us up. When Henry was younger, he used to do the same thing (only with more bouncing). He still does follow his little sister in sometimes, whining about being hungry or being woken up too early.

I used to pretend to be asleep to aggravate him, but then he would jump on me, causing a few colorful words to escape from my mouth, earning me a hard smack in the arm and a glare from Regina. Now he usually makes his own breakfast, so there’s the clattering of dishes downstairs to accompany our mornings as well. Also, Makayla thinks it’s absolutely hilarious to shriek pterodactyl-like in my ear as if jumping on me wasn’t enough to wake me from slumber.

But the noise I really enjoy is the laughter. Often, Snow and David will come over and make their specialty pancakes, which causes Makayla to giggle hysterically as David shows off his pancake-flipping skills. Regina and Snow laugh over not-so-threatening death threats, and Henry and I will often laugh at David’s creative pancake shapes which are never what they claim to be. The laughter is what really sticks in my mind—I finally have a normal, crazy, happy family.

XXXX

_ What pets did you have in your household growing up? _

Growing up in the foster system, I was never really allowed to have pets. I suppose I could tell the story of the one time I found a mouse in my room and fed it food crumbs for a week until it died, but I don’t think that counts.

Currently, we don’t have any pets. Regina is a stickler, and doesn’t think I am responsible enough for anything other than a goldfish which is kinda true. (She still doesn’t know about the goldfish that died last month because I forgot to feed it). How am I a mom again?

Anyway, since we don’t have any actual pets, let me tell you about the next best thing: our daughter. Little Kayla is basically a puppy. As soon as she learned to crawl, we knew we were in big trouble. Tablecloths were pulled off the tables, we had some near misses with cups almost falling onto her, she eats food on the floor as she pleases (and basically everything she can get her hands on—I lost my lucky penny to her!), she tumbled down a few stairs once (shh, don’t tell). Also, she’s super adorable and everyone loves her. Did I mention the fact that she also pees on the floor? Yeah, girls do it, too. Who knew?

Something we all find amusing (except Regina) is Henry has taken it upon himself to “train” her. And it’s actually working. He’s teaching his little sister tricks with yogurt bites. Makayla sits, speaks, rolls over, and shakes on command. She also pants as she crawls around and loves her head to be scratched. Regina says it’s as if she’s being raised by wolves and is mortified when Makayla does her little tricks in public. Okay, she may be spending a little too much time with Pongo, but I think it’s hilarious. I mean, kids will be kids.

XXXX

_Regina is in her study doing paperwork, the kids are in bed, and the bathwater is still hot, so I’m gonna continue writing. It seems as though this has become more helpful than therapy sessions—my hand writing is neater, I am thinking more clearly and noticing things around me that I haven’t before, and my work at the station has improved. I wonder if I can weasel Regina into giving me some chocolate for good behavior… hmm…_

_ What role do you play in your family’s dynamic? Tell a story that demonstrates you playing that role. _

Alright, well I would definitely peg myself as the goof ball. I rough house with my kids, I tickle Regina, I tell lame yet hilarious jokes (Henry calls them “mom jokes”), and I become heated over a game of _Monopoly_ —I know you cheated, Regina. Stop denying it.

A memory that comes to mind is when Henry had to get dental surgery. He was 11 years old and hated the dentist. Regina had asked me to take him and I readily accepted her offer, not knowing the extreme fear our son has over getting his mouth poked and prodded. And I don’t blame him—I haven’t been to the dentist since I was 18, and my teeth are fine and healthy in my opinion.

“Henry, we need to get this done. Just get in the car. The faster we get there, the faster we’ll be out,” I pleaded, using all my strength to keep him from running back to the school. Funny, he’s usually prone to run a _way_ from school, not to it.

“No! I knew this was a trap—Mom would never let you take me out of school early for no reason!” Henry yelled at me, gripping the sides of my Bug as I tried to maneuver him into the car.

Me being twice his size, I got him into the car and shut the door, thankful for the child-proof locks Regina had suggested I have installed on my car. Henry was silent the whole way to the dentist office, but when we arrived he didn’t fight; he simply dragged his feet and followed me inside, looking like a kicked puppy and making me feel like the worst mom in the world.

I checked him in and took a seat beside him, trying to pique his interest with a _Where’s Waldo_ book while making hilarious commentary about the other random people squished onto the pages. Henry wasn’t having it though, and I eventually gave up.

A nurse came out to usher us back, and my heart literally hurt as Henry slipped his little hand into mine and squeezed as hard as he could. Once he was weighed and his vitals were checked, he hopped up into the chair and tried to be brave. The nurse whispered to me about giving him something to calm him down, and I gave her permission to do so.

She left and returned a moment later with a nitrous oxide mask, something I was all-too-familiar with. She adjusted it over Henry’s nose and turned it on, and as soon as his eyes became glassy and his hand went slightly limp in mine, I knew it was time to turn the mom jokes on.

“Hey, Henry, what time did we come to the dentist? Tooth-hurt-y!”

This caused a little smile to come on Henry’s face, so I amped myself up and let the mom jokes fly.

“What did the horse say after he tripped? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

“What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!”

By the time the doctor administered the I.V. and injected the anesthesia, Henry was laughing so hard the whole dentist office could hear him. When I came back to see him after his surgery was done and he was awake, he was still laughing over my jokes, his mouth full of cotton and his eyes droopy.

For hours afterward, he would ask me to tell him more jokes, which I couldn’t help but oblige. I cuddled up with him on the couch and turned on a superhero movie to distract him, but he kept asking for more jokes. Every joke would send him into a fit of giggles and earned me a glare from Regina, but from the way she was trying to hold in her laughter told a whole other story. I knew that day that I was going to marry her.

Regina may pretend to be annoyed of my “childishness” but I know it’s just another reason she loves me so much.

XXXX

_So, before I go, I’ll leave you with one last really good dad joke. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. Makes me laugh every time. Anyway, stay tuned cause in the next chapter you’ll get to see about how Regina cared for me after an accident I had (unfortunately it happens all the time). See ya later!_

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this first part of Emma’s journal entries, let me know! There will be more fluff and ridiculousness to come! This journal is far from filled. ;)


End file.
